No expectations.

It was deadlift day today, and even though I am not currently using 5-3-1 for my deadlift because I'm still getting used to my new form, I knew that I still wanted to try to test my 1 rep max or get close to it. I know that getting my weight total back up will take time, but as with all things lifting-related I tend to get a little impatient.

As a sort-of compromise for myself, I figured I could test my 1RM as long as I went in with no expectations. I have recently started attending meditation sessions at the Cambridge Insight Meditation Center (as well as trying to sit for 5-10 minutes a day on my own), and last night got some excellent advice from one of the teachers there that I should sit with no expectations (so not expecting myself to be able to not have thoughts, or to be able to focus on my breath, or to "get" anything out of sitting.) I love this concept as it really helps move me away from the achievement-orientation that pretty much guides everything else in my life.

I figured the same concept might work well today with my deadlift 1RM and it did. Last week I got 221#x1 with a lot of difficulty and questionable form, but today I was able to get 221#x2 and 236# for two singles, all of which felt good. Throughout my lifting I tried to just focus on the current set, rather than planning out the next 3 or 4 and how much weight to add for each one and whether I'd be able to get them and if not then what I would do, etc, etc, etc, path to crazy-town.

Training today:
Kettlebell "warmup" (I don't know if it still counts as a warmup if it's 200 reps in total and I've already sweat through my headband and my heart is pounding when I'm done.)
Deadlift: 133x3; 155x3,3; 177x3,3; 199x3,3; 209#x3; 221#x2, 236#1,1
Single leg squat work (without knee pain! Whoo hoo!)
Totally bailed on uphill treadmill sprints because I was TIRED and also didn't want to push my luck too hard with my L knee still acting up randomly and also because they are terrible, obviously.